News from Dudeism.com for all our Ordained Dudeist Priests

Howdy Dudes,

This is just another friendly hello to tell you about new stuff that's going on over at Dudeism.

1) First off, the Tao Dude Ching (http://dudeism.com/tao) has been renamed "The Dude De Ching" and is now available in print format for a low price. We renamed it to avoid confusing it with our upcoming book "The Tao of the Dude".
You can order The Dude De Ching here: http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/the-dude-de-ching/8059795

Note that the entire $2 royalty we earn will go into a fund that will be charitably donated via the website www.kiva.org. The print version is illustrated by award-winning mystery novelist and cartoonist Colin Cotterill (www.colincotterill.com).

2) We've engineered a free software program that helps you take it easy! The Dudeism Pop-Up Relaxation Reminder reminds you to take regular breaks while at the computer in order to keep your mind limber. You can download that here:
http://download.cnet.com/Pop-Up-Relaxation-Reminder/3000-2350_4-10977387.html

3) We've also come up with some cool new tee-shirt and sweatshirt designs. If you hurry you can still get some in time for Christmas. Give a Dudeist gift to someone you dig:
http://dudeism.spreadshirt.com/shop/designs

Note that there's other groovy Xmas ideas at our Prinfection and Cafepress stores - visit our store (http://dudeism.com/store.html) and scroll down for the links. The beer mugs at Printfection are especially nice.

4) A friendly bunch of Brits are going to be headed around the States starting in December putting together a documentary on Dudeism. If you'd like to be featured in the film or just know more about it, please visit them at their website: http://www.adudesodyssey.com

5) Lots of people have been asking us about the Ordained Minister ID cards shown in the famous Dudeism VW commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYUD6vs0pg4). We plan to have those ready for order next month, along with some other cool new stuff. We'll let you know soon when it's all up and running.

Also, if you haven't checked out the Dudespaper (http://dudespaper.com) in a while, please do. There have been a lot of great contributions from die-hard Dudeists all over the world.

Take er easy,
Rev. Oliver Benjamin
The Dudely Lama of the Church of the Latter-Day Dude

The Redskins Are Such A Tease

Check out this email the Redskins sent me. The subject is "Redskins Recruit New Powerhouse".  At first glance I'm thinking "Holy shit, they fired Vinny and hired a real GM!" Then I click on the video. It's a promotion for Audi. What a cock tease. Assholes.

Today the Washington Redskins appointed a new leader that will strengthen the team with speed, control, spirit and drive. As a passionate fan, we invite you to experience firsthand what this means for the future of the Washington Redskins. Click on the video or personalized link below to view this special message: The Washington Redskins 21300 Redskins Park Drive Ashburn, Virginia 20147

Rage Against the Machine, pt. 4 - "Hotrod Style"

From Toxic Shock Syndrome

Part 4 of my love/hate relationship with technology series "Rage Against The Machine" is about the motherboard of my home theatre computer, a.k.a. HTPC. The computer started acting funny. It would lock up and not start up. I even got a few BSoDs and a WSoD, which I didn't know existed. I did some research and determined it was a hardware issue. I've successfully diagnosed and fixed software issues, but this was my first foray into hardware errors. I know it's hard to believe but I've never had a computer crash on me before. Knock on wood. I probably could have fixed it myself, but this is our entertainment system and I didn't want to screw it up permanently. I took it to my local computer repair shop and got the motherboard replaced. Total repair cost was $360. I'm embarrassed by that price. I could have saved myself some money by doing it myself. There's always next time.

The computer repair dude said that he's seen a lot of the small profile computers have heat related issues. The motherboard just burned out. I decided to run the computer without a case a.k.a. "hotrod style". Only time will tell how that works out. The HTPC is almost year and a half old and I've had more problems with it than I've had with any other computer. The build quality is just poor. But because consumers demand cheaper computers then we get what we get. You just buy the product, take care of it and hope for the best.

Ten Things That Make Me Mad

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is, fool: where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

2. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no dick.

3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

4. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". That's stupid! What good is a cake you can't eat? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?

5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

6. When people say, while watching a movie, "Did you see that?" No, asshole: I paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and stare at the ceiling up there. What did you come here for?

7. The now old radio ad, "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive sober either, Mr. Healey. You're blind [and dead RIP] for God's sake.

8. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice when you asked that?

9. When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

10. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going. You should know, asshole: you pulled me over.

Four Eyes

I now officially wear glasses. I'm afflicted with "computer related eye fatigue" and wear what they call "computer glasses" which are like reading glasses, but for when I'm on the computer which is always. Stupid weak eye muscles.

Misery Has Company

I'm not the only Redskins' fan who is distraught about the team. Fewer and fewer among the Redskins' faithful seem to believe the team's problems will be fixed. This Washington Post article by Tracee Hamilton perfectly articulates my feelings this season. Misery has company.

Vanity Plate Penetration

DIDJUNO?: "

Random vanity plate facts of the day (and I have a question: Which other countries permit vanity plates? I can’t recall seeing them in Europe, for example, but I may be wrong):

That’s how we know 1 in 26.15 registered motor vehicles have vanity plates, which translates into nearly 9.3 million or 3.8% of the nearly 243 million registered motor vehicles in the US. And that’s where we get the term, “vanity plate penetration,” and are able to use it in this sentence: Virginia has the highest vanity plate penetration with 1 in 6.18 registered cars (or 16%) being vanitized.

After Virginia, the next five states with the highest vanity plate penetration are New Hampshire (1 in 7.14); Illinois (1 in 7.45); Nevada (1 in 7.8); Montana (1 in 10.2); and Maine (1 in 10.21). The state with the lowest percentage of vanity plates is Texas, with only .56%, or 1 in 178.3 registered cars.

Via the wonderfully obsessive, if imperfect, Book of Odds.

I live in Virginia but hate vanity plates. But yet I had one, SHOCKZ, on my 350Z. It was clever and cheap. If you can't beat'em, join'em. The wife is from Texas and we want to move to Austin in a few years, so we'll go from the most vanity plate penetrated state to the least. Makes me feel a little better about about living in Texas.